我是用水给你们施洗,……但……他要用圣灵与火给你们施洗。(太三11)
我是否已经到达可以说“我是……但他”的地步?未经历这一刻,便实在不知道圣灵的洗到底是什么意思。我果真到了尽头,一无办法;他就在此开始做人所无法做的。我预备好迎接他的来临吗?若路上有东西阻隔,不论是好是坏,他都不能来。在他来的时候,我是否预备好让他把我一切的错失带到光中对付?他正要在这些事上临到你。我明知不洁的地方,他就插足其中;我以为洁净的地方,他就离去。
悔改并不会带来罪疚感,只会叫人觉得自己绝对的不配。我悔改时,知道自己无能为力,连替他提鞋也不配。我有没有这样悔改过?还是暗地里还为自己留一点余地?神仍未能进入我的生命,是因为我还未彻底悔改。“他要用圣灵与火给你们施洗。”约翰并没有把圣灵的洗当作一个经历,他是视之为耶稣基督的工作。“他要给你们施洗。”凡受过圣灵施洗的人,唯一的知觉就是自己完全不配。“我是……”这样或那样,“但他”来了,奇妙的事就发生。我们退居末位吧,让他成就一切。
祈祷◆主啊,我多么贫乏!那么多的软弱潜伏在隐藏的地方,要将我整个人摧毁。噢,主啊,我投向你。我何等需要认识到,离开了你,我便不能作什么。
August 22: “I Indeed… But He”
I indeed baptize you with water . . but He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire.” Matthew 3:11
Have I ever come to a place in my experience where I can say – “I indeed – but He”? Until that moment does come, I will never know what the baptism of the Holy Ghost means. I indeed am at an end, I cannot do a thing: but He begins just there – He does the things no one else can ever do. Am I prepared for His coming? Jesus cannot come as long as there is anything in the way either of goodness or badness. When He comes am I prepared for Him to drag into the light every wrong thing I have done? It is just there that He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean, He will put His feet; wherever I think I am clean, He will withdraw them.
Repentance does not bring a sense of sin, but a sense of unutterable unworthiness. When I repent, I realize that I am utterly helpless; I know all through me that I am not worthy even to bear His shoes. Have I repented like that? Or is there a lingering suggestion of standing up for myself? The reason God cannot come into my life is because I am not through into repentance.
“He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire.” John does not speak of the baptism of the Holy Ghost as an experience, but as a work performed by Jesus Christ. “He shall baptize you.” The only conscious experience those who are baptized with the Holy Ghost ever have is a sense of absolute unworthiness.
I indeed was this and that; but He came, and a marvellous thing happened. Get to the margin where He does everything.